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ALRIGHTY! Here it finally is!
PART ONE: SCRAMBLED EGGS
Zac and Dave sat quietly in the hotel bedroom. Walker and Isaac had left minutes before for a tour of the city and left the two of them ALONE in the hotel room. As for Taylor, he was off with Scott at the Moffatts suite.
"I'm bored. What do you want to do?" Zac whined staring deep into the chocolate brown eyes of his soon to be lover.
Dave, in a playful gesture, jumped on top of Zac and began bucking his hips while screaming, "I wanna fuck your brains out!"
Zac, fully overcome by his emotions, leaned forward and kissed Dave full on the lips. Dave, slightly confused at what had just partaken, leaned forward, followed his instincts and placed his hand on Zac's thigh and returned the kiss. It quickly turned into a game of tonsil hockey, which ended abruptly when Zac shoved Dave away.
"Go get the whipped cream" Zac commanded. Burning with desire for the MAN he loved Dave ran to the fridge and was crushed by what he saw. There was nothing but a carton of eggs, a 2 litre of milk, and a pound of Bologna. Dave was suddenly struck by a stroke (hehe) of genius; he grabbed the eggs and excitedly scurried back to the bedroom.
The disappointment showed on Zac's face when Dave entered whipped cream less.
"Where's the Whip_"
"Shut up and strip" Dave sounded very in control and in the mood to give orders, Zac liked this. He slowly began to remove all of his clothing in a lousy attempt at being sexy.
"Be snappy, we gotta get down to business!" Zac's ego suffered at this comment, then he realized that Dave was just as horny as he was. He stood naked with his hands placed firmly on his hips.
"What now Big Boy?" Zac inquired as a small giggle escaped his lips.
"Lay on the bed and close your eyes." Zac sprawled out on the bed, while Dave took in the sight of his hardened sperm gun. (Hehe ... sperm gun, that's a good one, eh?) Dave discarded his shirt and crawled ever so slowly on top of Zac making sure that his groin met the tip of Zac's engorged cock. Zac let out a low moan. Noticing the pleasure that this was bringing Zac only made the need to fulfill his partner more urgent. He slowly grazed the skin of Zac's chest with his lips planting a small kiss on his stiff nipple growing redder by the second.
DAVE
I pulled myself up off Zac and reached for the carton of eggs.
"What are you doing?" Zac asked from underneath me.
"You'll see, just keep your eyes closed." He did as he was told and closed his eyes. I opened the carton and took an egg from it. I looked at the egg and then looked back at the nipple, which I had been kissing moments ago. On impulse I thrust the egg hard against Zac's chest. He shrieked in shock and pain.
"What the fuck...?" Zac exclaimed, rubbing the spot where he had just been hit. I grabbed another egg. This time I cracked the egg above his chest and let it trickle down to meet his bare skin. I then crushed the shell on his chest and began rubbing it into his skin.
ZAC
"Where's the Whip_"
"Shut up and strip" Dave scolded me. I slowly began to strip away my outer layer in some poor attempt at turning him on...
"Be snappy, we gotta get down to business!"
...Didn’t work. This comment hit home. Ouch! I was shocked and slightly embarrassed at this comment but I regained composure and did as I was told. Standing there stark naked I waited for the next order.
"What now big boy?" I said with a small giggle as the same thought kept repeating in my head (I'm gonna get some! I'm gonna get some!)
"Lay down and close your eyes."
(I'm gonna get some! I'm gonna get some!) I made my way over to the bed and laid myself out, spread eagle and fully erect. Dave eyed up my manstick, he bit the corner of his lip in anticipation ... it was so sexy! He walked over and straddled me on the bed. I felt his penis, which was also engorged rub against my stiff prick. I couldn't help but moan in pleasure. He then leaned over and kissed my nipple. A wonderful tingling feeling when through my entire body, I didn't want this to end, but he pulled away (huh?).
"What are you doing?" I asked, disappointed that he had stopped.
"You'll see, just close your eyes." I felt him squirm on top of me. It felt good...damn good. I lay there impatiently waiting for what he was going to do next. I took in a deep breath and tried to relax myself when suddenly I was attacked by something hard, sticky, and crunchy...(is Dave sick?) I squealed,
" What the fuck...?"
It took me a minute to comprehend what it was, but then it struck me ... THE EGGS!!! He began rubbing the slimy yolk and shell into my skin. The shell slightly cutting me, it was pain, but an enjoyable pain. I bit my lip to hold back another moan, but he stopped. (Why did he stop?) I opened my eyes knowing full well that I wasn't supposed to, by this time he was off of me. I sat up (that was quick); I guess Dave isn't much for foreplay. He had his back to me, it seemed like he was busy undoing his belt buckle. I lay back down and closed my eyes pretending that I had never peeked.
DAVE
He thinks I didn't know that he was looking. I could feel his eyes burning into my skin (I'll show him a thing or two for disobeying me). I took another egg from the carton, broke it in my hand, discarded the shell to the floor and used the yolk to lube up my backdoor burglar for I was going to be doing some butt hole surfing. I sauntered over to the bed. Firmly grasping him by the hips, ready to thrust myself inside him. The tip of my knob touched his rear opening; Zac's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide.
"Dave...I l_" Zac started but was interrupted by the sound of voices in the next room.
"Hey, looks like nobody's home." a deep voice came from the next room. I grabbed Zac and pulled him alongside me into the closet closing the door quietly.
"Oh my God, who is that?" Zac questioned Dave, the fear in his voice very obvious. Then the deep voice came again.
"It's in that bag. I'll go freshen up in the washroom." The response to this came from a familiar high-pitched voice.
"Alright baby. But you can't watch me." I heard the bathroom door close. There was the sound of a zipper then the familiar voice yelped
"A SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT?!?!?!"
"Just put it on. They'll be back soon, and I want to play...with you." the bedroom door opened and light footsteps came into the room. I peeked through the crack of the closet door to try and make out as much of the situation as possible. Zac kicked me and mouthed the words "Who knew?" I was shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight my brother, my own flesh and blood, stepping into a schoolgirl outfit. This was not happening.
"Okay baby, I'm ready." I heard called from the other room. The steps came closer to the bedroom. They finally stopped as my brother's lover made his way to the doorway, leaning against it trying to look sexy. My brother turned to take in the sight before him. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I had to fight with myself to hold back my laughter. I gazed over at Zac to see two tears rolling down his cheek.
"Zac?" I asked.
"I have lost all respect for him."
PART TWO: JUST CALL ME...BAMBI??
CLINT
"Just call me Bambi." Isaac said lolling his head from side to side. There he was in all his glory. Sporting six inch red spikes, black fishnet stockings and a bustier. Ike, ever the rebel, skipped the panties all together. I took in the sight before me. Wow, Ike wasn't lying when he said that he wasn't a horse but damn he was hung like one. When he walked it slapped against his knees.
"Ike you look beautiful." I stated. Isaac quickly cuffed me on the side of the head.
"I SAID CALL ME BAMBI!!!!" Ike screeched.
"Oh I'm sorry, how can I make it up to you?" I asked while getting on my knees. Isaac kicked me in the jaw.
"What makes you think that I want you to suck my dick?" He then picked me up and threw me onto the bed. He pulled a clip out of nowhere from behind of him (asshole... he kept it there for safe keeping) he then put up his hair and went down on me.
"Bambi, what the hell's the sticky stuff all over the bed?" Sudden bursts of laughter came from the closet. Isaac jerked his head away from my dick. All my pubes caught in his braces ripped out from my genital area.
"WHOOOAAA!" Damn that hurt.
"Hey, when did your brother grow a mustache?" Someone inquired with a small chuckle.
PART THREE: KD FOR ME!!
SCOTT
"Bob," I called to him from the next room, "We're going out, see ya later." I said quickly, leaving him no time to answer. He's been kind of freaky for the past little while. All he does is sit around watching early morning cartoons and playing with himself, he doesn't care if someone's in the room with him or not. He hasn't been himself lately, the past couple of ... years!!! Oh well, I love him anyway. Taylor and I headed down the hall holding hands in step.
"So... where ya wanna go?" I inquired
"Let's go down to MoJo JoJo Record Store, I hear they got a clearance sale!!!"
"Uh, okay ... " I replied. I wasn't too thrilled with the idea; I was hoping he'd want to go to bed, but whatever.
We walked down the sidewalk in silence. It was an awkward silence. We eventually made our way to the Record store of Taylor's choice. I walked in and immediately headed to the clearance wall. What can I say I'm cheap!
"Damn." I muffled in embarrassment. Only one CD left ... Chapter 1 ... a whole wall of it I might add. I quickly diverted my attention from the wall hoping Taylor hadn't noticed. I turned to make a smart-ass comment about it, but to my surprise, Taylor wasn't there. He was up at the check out purchasing a CD. I gingerly walked over to him.
"Hey, what ya get?" Assuming he'd buy Chapter 1 ... it was only .99 ... you can't pass up a bargain like that!
"Uh, nothing," He stuttered shoving his purchase in his jacket pocket.
"Aw, common Doodle Bug, don't be embarrassed, remember, I've seen you naked." I tried to joke with him but he was in no mood for such nonsense.
"I SAID NOTHING!" He said and angrily stomped out of the store.
"Don't worry Tay, I've got that CD too."
He quickly turned around. "Really, I thought you'd make fun of me."
"NO!!! It's only the greatest CD ever,” I said as I chuckled.
"Great, Let's go back and listen to it." He said pulling it out of his pocket.
I quickly lunged and grabbed it from his grasp. I read the title and quickly filled with rage. "KD LANG????"
"Well, yeah ... What's wrong with KD Lang, you said you had her CD too..."
"I THOUGHT YOU BOUGHT CHAPTER ONE!!!!"
"No ... why would I buy that"
Ouch ... KD Lang over us... "Well, you bought KD Lang..."
"And...?"
“AND SHE’S GAY!!!!”
TAYLOR
"Yeah, but so are we ..." by this point I was quite confused as to the point Scott was getting to. I was also beginning to get mad. What was the big deal anyway?
"You maybe!" He said in a snotty tone. That was enough! I DID NOT need to take any more of this. I thought while drawing my hand back and bringing in down hard against his face. His head snapped back, he raised his hand to his face, which was flushed red. I could see my hand print left on his left cheek. I immediately regretted it when I saw the tears building up in his eyes.
"Asshole" He muttered as he quickly turned and ran off in the opposite direction.
I stood there shocked and slightly embarrassed by the amount of on lookers who were starring at me.
"BITCH!" I heard a voice call from behind me.
This pulled me out of my thoughts, WHAT DID I DO???
"SCOTT!!! I'M SORRY" I screamed as I took off running after him. I honestly had no idea where he had run off. As I turned the corner there was still no sign of him ahead of me, so I headed back to the hotel room to await his arrival.
PART FOUR: BOBBY'S WORLD
****EXPLANATION**** Bob is...hmm...not all there. in this chapter anyway...we
aren't saying he's actually crazy...just special. he doesn't hear what people
tell him...he hears what he wants to hear. We know it's kind of hard to follow, but if you do get it ... it's hilarious. There are stars around what he's hearing and what is actually being said is in quotations. the rest he's just thinking. That being said, enjoy!
BOB
"SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS, he lives in a pineapple under the sea..." I chanted along with my favorite T.V. show. For some strange reason Sponge-Bob always made me horny.
I wish I were SPONGE-BOB, but no...I'm just a Bob.
This thought saddens me. I sat...alone, horny from Sponge-Bob. Scott and Taylor had gone out about an hour ago. Leaving me alone to jerk off to early morning cartoons. I live the life of luxury and I know it. But yet I am still alone.
Why are Taylor and Scott so close anyway? why does Taylor like Scott? Why doesn't he like me? I'm hot...right? No...I'm just Bob...Sponge-Bob is hot, but not as hot as Patrick.
As I continued playing with my thoughts...and myself, I heard a knock at the door.
"Can I come in?"
***Can I cum in you? ***
Was that Taylor? Wow, that was quite the offer he was making me. Better answer the door...quick!
I put my penis back in my pants, wiped my hands on the sofa cushions and scampered to answer the door. I opened the door to stand face to face with the most beautiful being alive. He stood there femininely, which made me feel better...not as gay as usual.
"Bob where's Scott?"
***Bob you're hot.***
"Why thank you but not as hot as Sponge-Bob."
"Uh, just tell him I'm sorry."
***You make me horny.***
"Really? More than Scott?"
"What?"
***Twat?***
Damn I guess he isn't gay...I was wrong. Sponge-Bob here I come.
I turned around and headed back to the sofa. Taylor followed me in. I continued to watch Sponge-Bob.
"Hey can I watch this progrum with you?"
***Hey can I wash your scrotum with you? ***
"OKAY!" I screamed while running in the spot like a four year old, flailing my arms and kicking my legs. I felt my dick hit the inner part of my thigh. This is going to be great.
TAYLOR
I was shocked to hear the excitement coming from him when I asked to watch a T.V. show with him. Then he started kicking his legs and jumping up and down. What the hell is this guy on? Bob turned away from me and headed into the bathroom.
BOB
"So, you like Sponge-Bob?"
***So we'll need a sponge, Bob?***
"Well I prefer to use my hand...it gets into all the nice tight corners!"
"Um, Bob I don't follow."
***Bob I don't swallow***
.
"Don't worry, neither does Dave."
"What about Dave?"
***I'll be your sex slave. ***
"Oh Taylor."
TAYLOR
Bob began to approach me with a gleam in his eye and his hand in his pants. I did not know what was happening. I was speechless, I couldn't move or talk. I began to back up, for Bob was beginning to frighten me. I fell back on the sofa. It was all sticky.
"Bob what are you doing?"
BOB
"Bob what are you doing?"
***Bob when are you going to do me? ***
"Right now!" and with that I leapt on him.
PART FIVE: DAY HAS CUM ...WAIT THAT WAS CLINT
DAVE
"Hey, when did your brother grow a mustache?" I said while chuckling ... damn I'm funny!!!
Zac turned to me, "NOT FUNNY!" He bitched, shoving his foot out hitting me square in the groin. Ouch ... OUCH OUCH OUCH!!!! Hey, it was funny in my head.. I grabbed my member and curled up in a little ball moaning in pain. I paused for a moment, letting my anger catch up with me ...
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed as I leapt on him and began hitting him repetitively.
IKE
"Who called my mum a bitch? I pity da foo who called my mamma a bitch!" I said in my big-bush-bad-ass-bambino-Bambi voice!!! I really did pity the foo!!!!
DAVE
Ignoring the retarded voice from outside of the closet, I continued to beat on Zac. After awhile, I lost myself in the rhythm of my poundings. The question occurred to me "Why am I beating his face?" I stopped momentarily to take in the situation. Zac looked almost as if he was enjoying this as well. He lay there beneath me, sweating and panting. He looked so incredibly sexy. I couldn't control my hormones anymore. I remembered that I still had my cock lubed up with egg yolk. I grabbed Zac's legs and place one on each of my shoulders and thrust myself inside of him. He squealed in pain, which quickly turned into moans of pleasure. Zac arched his back and reached forward for his own quivering member and began to tug himself rapidly. This excited me. I increased the pace of my thrusting, each time plunging deeper and deeper. We were simultaneously reaching our climax. I was just about spent when I felt something strike me in the eye.
"Ow, my I eye" I stated reaching forward and wiping my eye. Still confused at what had just splattered on me. Zac was still tugging himself so I knew it couldn't have been him.
"Oops ... sorry" I heard a girly voice call from outside of the closet. I turned my attention to the voice outside of the closet and saw Clint, standing there, peeking through the crack, and still stroking himself. I just realized that my brother just watched me have sex ... and jizzed in my eye, EW! Shocked and slightly embarrassed at what had just taken place I regained composure and stood up abruptly, momentarily forgetting Zac's legs were slung over my shoulders, causing him to do a back flip, landing on his head ... still stroking himself.
"CLINT!!!! YOU JUST JIZZED IN MY EYE" I screamed playing a game of "Mr. State_the_obvious!"
"YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH ZAC IN A CLOSET!!!" .... I guess he wanted to play too!
"YOU WATCHED AS YOU STROKED YOURSELF!!!!"
"YOU LUBED UP YOUR COCK WITH EGG YOLK!!!!"
"YOU GOT SUCKED OFF BY A TRANSVESTITE!!!"
"HEY!!!" We heard a big-bush-bad-ass-bambino voice yelp, "I PITY DA FOO WHO CALLED ME A TRANSVESTITE!"
"Boys boys, this isn't going to get us anywhere" Zac reasoned, finally spent! "I say, there's no parents, two beds, and four horny boys. How about Dave and I get this bed, you and *ahem* Bambi get that bed, and we make good use of our time"
Well damn, Bambi knows a good idea when he hears one. He wasted no time arguing. He picked up Clint, flung him over his shoulder and headed off to the far bed.
PART SIX: PIGS ARE DEFINITELY STUPID
TAYLOR
"RIGHT NOW!" Bob screeched as he jumped on me.
"BOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
BOB
"BOB WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
***Bob, DO ME***
"I'M TRYING!"
"TRYING TO DO WHAT?"
***TIE ME UP***
"OOOOOOOO, I didn't know you were into that stuff!"
"WHAT STUFF?"
***BOB DO ME NOW, I'VE NEEDED YOU FOREVER, I'VE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WITH SCOTT!!!***
"I'm so happy you feel the same way.." And with that I leaned forward and kissed him like I had been dreaming of!!
TAYLOR
I lay there squirming beneath Bob trying to free myself from his grasp. He kept shooting out random comments, which had nothing to do with what I had previously asked him. I looked up into his eyes just to see him close them, pucker his lips and lean toward my face. I tried to move, but he held my face tightly in his hands and sat on my chest with his knees pinning my arms down. I realized it hopeless and stopped fighting. I thought he was going to go ape shit on me, but instead he leaned in and gently placed a soft kiss on my lips. Shocked and slightly confused, I regained my composure and stared deep in to his eyes. He was smiling. It was a sweet smile, not like his other devious smiles ... Bob is beautiful, and how come I'm just noticing this now? He loosened his grip and backed off a little. On impulse I propelled him to the floor beneath me and returned his kiss. This was a kiss of passion. I all of a sudden had very strong feelings for Bob, and I knew he felt the same! I could feel his rock hard member pressed hard against my inner thigh. I slowly moved my hand down and gave it a firm squeeze.
PART SEVEN: LIKE A ROCK!
FRANK
"I'm famished!" Walker stated.
"As am I" ... and I was!!!! I hadn't eaten since breakfast and that was nearly half an hour ago. The boys always joke about my anorexia, it hurts! OUCH!
"Well," Walker began. "Why don't you and I go down to the pizza parlor and get us some eating?!"
"SUPER!!!!" I exclaimed, I'm really beginning to like this man! "If you don't mind can we get the low fat crust, or I simply just won't be able to eat it!"
"Okay, as long as we get anchovies, quadruple cheese, double mushrooms, spicy pepperoni, bacon, ham, tomatoes, green peppers, red peppers, purple peppers (?), peanut butter, scrambled eggs (hehe, ain't that a quinky dink!), and pineapple, or I simply won't be able to eat it!"
"Well ... I could use the extra pounds, the doctor says I'm at least 40 pounds under weight." Walker gave me a funny look as I said this. I then took a closer look at him, wow, he must be under weight too!! We have only known each other for a few days and already I feel a special bond between us!
We were making our way over to the pizza parlor when we looked across the street to see a cat fight breaking out, out front of a CD store. There were two gorgeous young ladies, couldn't be any older than 16. We turned to see the sassy fair-haired blond bring her hand down against the beautiful brunette. Man she was hot for a young girl. The brunette overcome with anger stomped off down the street!
"BITCH!" I screamed across the street, she must have just been jealous of the brunette's beauty. But man, the blond wasn't bad herself! A little feisty ...I like that, now I'm hard ... hard as a rock!
We continued to walk to the pizza place while I adjusted myself, trying to not make it obvious. I managed to get it to settle down by the time we got there. We walked up to the counter and placed our order. The lady behind the counter's eyes popped out of her head.
"Um, Sir, you know that it costs a dollar for every topping exceeding the usual three!?" She made that point as if we didn't know. We decided that maybe that was a little much so we got rid of the unnecessary toppings like cheese and sauce. Because of the sacrifice we made getting rid of our cheese and sauce, the pizza only came to .50 ... WHAT A DEAL!!! Who knew that cheese and sauce cost so much!?
We made our way back to the hotel making small talk about the hot girls that were fighting in the street, man, the things you see in LA!!!! Once we got back to the hotel room I asked if we could stop at our room first so I could pick up the game of yahtzee, then off to the Hanson suite for our own little party. Hey maybe the boys will be home and want to join!!!
I entered the room and heard some low moans and groans. I ventured further into the room were I saw a leg frantically fly up in the air, those damn boys must be fighting again. Bob and Dave just never stop do they? As I got closer I realized that it wasn't Dave, hey, Bob's got a girlfriend. Good for him, maybe now he'll stop playing with himself, I swear if he doesn't he's going to go blind.
I lightly pranced around the room, so to not disturb them. I quickly ran in and grabbed the game of yahtzee which the Hanson's had left here the night before and passed back through the living room quick. OOOooOOoOO, she's pretty cute, way to go Bob!!!! I headed over to the elevator where Walker was awaiting my presence. We went back down to the 3rd floor to the Hanson suite. Walker unlocked the door and we walked into the room ... it was empty!!!
"Hey Walker, looks like the boys went out." ... good.
"LOOK AT IT BOYS!!! ISN'T IT HARD ... " I heard someone yelp in the bedroom.
PART EIGHT: STUPI ...(psst...plural form of stupid)
BOB
*sigh* what a good dream!
Why don’t things like this ACTUALLY happen to me. Why do I get so carried away in my thoughts ... How come Taylor doesn't really like me... I just need someone to ...
"Pinch me" I whispered aloud.
TAYLOR
He wanted me to pinch him ... OKAY!!!! I slowly slid my hand in the front of his pants, "oh, he's not wearing underwear, easier access for me!" I thought to myself. My hand met with the base of his cock, I gave it a tight pinch. Bob lunged forward sending me flying backwards to land on my ass.
"Ow, my ass!"
BOB
"Ow, my ass!"
***How about a bath?***
"Yes, a bath. That’s what we need!"
"But my ass is sore!"
***But I want more!***
"In the bath!"
What the hell is Taylor's problem? Does he not realize the world of possibilities that pertain to bath time? There's lather, water, two naked boys, and lots and LOTS of squeeze toys. Not that we'll need them. I daintily walked over to the bathroom. As I reached the door I peered over my shoulder at Taylor. I then ripped off my pants with a vicious yank. Ouch...I'm...not...wearing...tear-aways. Then I fell to the floor.
TAYLOR
Bob stepped into the bathroom door and gave his pants a strong tug, tearing them away from his beautiful body. He collapsed, his head meeting the floor with incredible impact. I saw a pool of blood forming around his body. I ran to his side, lifting his head to look into his tear-filled puppy dog eyes.
"Ouch...my...balls." he whispered in pain.
PART NINE: TOO BAD I'M STRAIGHT
WALKER
"Look at it boys! Isn't it hard!" I heard a voice bellow in the next room. I turned to Frank to see if he had heard it.
"Hey Frank? Did you hear that?" I inquired.
"No...I didn't hear anything." He replied, me knowing full well that he had. What a liar. He's so silly.
I sat quietly...twiddling my thumbs, listening to the goings on in the next room. Who the hell is in there? There is no way my boys can make that much noise. Although they have been a little rowdy since we met those Moffatt boys...damn Canadians. I realized I wasn't the only one interested. I turned to see Frank against the door with a cup up to his ear trying to listen in. It wasn't working very well...it was a plastic cup.
"FRANK!! What are you doing?"
"I'm...um...RAPING THE CUP!!!" he screamed bringing the cup down against his groin. If he thought that was a good cover up he must be retarded. Oh well...he's still good looking. Too bad I'm straight. It appeared as though he could maneuver that cop very well. That lucky cup...oh yeah, I'm straight. I heard a pounding at the door.
"Who is it?!" I yelled from my spot, not wanting to take my eyes off Frank and the cup. Instead of answering, the visitor continued to pound on the door.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!" I screamed.
"Is Taylor there?" the voice requested. Frank stopped in his tracks. He looked down at the cup.
"I don't know but I'll check." He said, an evil smile crossing his face.
PART TEN: ISN'T IT HARD...SO HARD
ZAC
Isaac...I mean *ahem* Bambi stood proudly, pointing at his wiener, which was standing at attention.
"Yes Bambi...it's hard." Clint and I said in unison. Dave, sitting on top of me, said rudely
"Good damn you Bambi! We all were a minute ago. but now I am not. Now I am flaccid."
"Thank you very much Bambi...now I'm not gonna get any!" I pouted while crossing my arms.
DAVE
Goddamn Zac looks sexy when he's whining. Look at those pouty lips...he's so hot. I regained my stiffness and my position. I prepared to drive myself inside of him again. Who knew that it could be so much fun?
"NO!!!! IT'S MY TURN!!" Zac howled pushing me off of him. The next thing I knew I had met with the floor. I turned just to see Zac do a star jump off of the bed landing two inches in front of my face. He then began to swing his hips, each swing causing his penis to smack me in the face. It had a smell all of it's own. It smelt of...of....
"Coffee? No, no ,no," I muttered, than it struck me, "BEEF MR. .NOODLES AND CROTCH!"
ZAC
"Excuse me?"
"Beef Mr. Noodles and crotch! That's what your dick smells like!" He said excitedly. I leaned down and sniffed my dick. HE WAS RIGHT!! Man, I've been trying to figure that one out for a while! Thanks Dave!
"You're so smart!" I said placing a kiss on Dave's forehead. I then shoved his head back into place and continued to slap him in the face with my penis.
PART ELEVEN: RUDIMENTARY PENI
SCOTT
God Taylor makes me so mad!! Why didn't he just buy chapter one...then we could have avoided this whole mess!! What a jerk! I can't believe he slapped me in front of all those people!! Oh well, I shouldn't have called him gay...that was just wrong. I miss him...I miss him so much. How could I say such a thing to him, my best friend, my soul mate, my....lover. I should go apologize. I hope he went back to his room. I walked up to the hotel and through the front doors. There was a bellboy who opened the door and greeted me with a smile. "He's a fruit" I thought o myself. "Do you know who else is a fruit..." I recited as many people as I could think of in my head, who could possibly be limp wrist. Quite the train of thought...it brought me to the third floor. I reached room 333 pounding on the door, finding myself at a loss for words.
"Who is it??" Walker yelled. I was still at a loss. So I pounded on the door again.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!"
What did I want? I wanted Taylor...but I couldn't very well say that to his father. So I chose to rephrase my words.
"Is Taylor there?" God I hope he is. The door swung open and I found myself standing face to face with Walker...he would make such a good fruit...too bad he's straight.
He motioned with his hand for me to come in. So I did. I saw my dad turn the knob on the door to the bedroom. Tons of erotic noises came oozing out of the room. Dad burst open the door. What a sight...all I could see was a naked Zac swinging his hips, assaulting a naked Dave with his bologna pony.
Daddy turned around with a smile on his face.
" Nope, not here son." he said turning back to the hardcore entertainment taking place in the next room. I turned and left the room. I found my self two steps outside of the room when I heard the voice of my daddy speak again
"Clint?! A schoolgirl outfit? Come on, I always thought of that as more of Scott's style."
I was fumed with rage now. I entered the elevator still pissed with my Dad...he's gonna pay for that one!! I exited the elevator and stalked to our own suite. As I approached to unlock the door I heard I scream from inside. It startled me, causing me to drop my key. As I bent over to pick it up I heard a familiar voice form inside. Taylor? What's he doing in there? I leaned towards the door attempting to listen in. Damn... I wish I had a cup handy!!
"Ow, my ass!" Hey that's Taylor!!! Oh my god, what is Bob doing to him? I then heard Bob begin to rant about taking a bath...jeez, he's weird. I continued to listen to the muffled voices coming from inside of the hotel room, until there was a loud thump. GOLLY LOLLY, BOB'S FINALLY SNAPPED, I thought as I grabbed the key and shuffled to my feet.
"TAYLOR, I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU" I screamed as I burst through the door ... quite the sight I must say. There was Taylor cradling a bleeding bare-ass Bob.
"DID YOU RAPE MY BROTHER?" I screeched as I stalked towards him. Once I had made my way over there I immediately sucker punched him in the nose. He fell to the floor.
TAYLOR
ouch ... OUCH!
I grabbed my throbbing nose and thought of what had just happened ... THAT BASTARD! I jumped to my feet and glared at him with my hands placed on my hips. Then I jumped on him. We began to wrestle, me beating his face, him grabbing my dick... wait...GRABBING MY DICK?!?!! Suddenly I was hit in the back of the head by a pair of jeans. I glared over at Bob he had his legs thrown up in the air, cupping his hands underneath his bleeding balls. He was letting the blood pool in his hands, at first I didn't understand why, then it struck me...literally. That sick fuck threw his blood at us. I took in the scene before me, Bob is crazy. He had smeared the blood on his face in a war paint style. Not only that but he had panted himself some breasts. This guy is sick.
"Bob!!!" Scott and I shrieked in unison." What the hell are you doing?"
"Look at this...we're all dirty. I guess we will all have to take a bath." He replied, nudging Scott repetitively....................................yup......................................................................still nudging.
"Okay Bob. We get the point." ...still nudging.
Bob still didn't seem to get the point. A large vein began to throb visibly on Scott's forehead, neck and probably penis. I quickly picked up Bob and carried him into the bathroom before Scott flew into a murderous rage. I dropped Bob into the tub, and looked down at my shirt, my favorite shirt. It was my K.D. Lang shirt... covered in blood...ball blood. He owes me big for this one. Bob turned on the water as I began to peal of my clothing. Then Scott entered the room.
"We aren't seriously going to take a bath together?" He said giving Bob "the eyes". Bob stopped playing with himself, jumped out of the tub and began to hump Scott's leg. Scott, being the asshole that he is, said,
"Well if your gonna be down there, you might as well suck my dick while you're at it." He then whipped out his pud. That rude asswadd. I grabbed his dick and shoved it back in his pants. Scott then took the hint and kicked Bob off his leg. Bob didn't seem to care much, he grabbed his Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants squeeze toy and hopped in the tub.
BOB
Scott's an ass. I grabbed my Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants squeeze toy, because he loves me, and jumped in the bath. I then took notice of all the holes in Sponge-Bob...hmmm...well since Scott doesn't want me....
SCOTT
I then looked over to see Bob insert his penis into one of Sponge-Bob's many holes. God he's weird. But it only makes me love him more. I'm beginning to feel more than brotherly love for Bob. What is it about him?
BOB
YEEEEEHAAAWWW!!!!
SCOTT
Bob continued to ride his squeeze toy.
PART TWELVE: FERTILE EGGS
FRANK
I continued to watch the boys as I raped the cup. At first it was just a joke, then I realized that it was actually quite fun!! More fun than Scott!! More fun than Sheila!! Heck it was more fun than Scott and Sheila combined!! But yet I still miss those family moments. Now Scott has grown out of that phase in his life and suddenly his dad isn't good enough for him. I remember the days when he loved me. A small tear began to trickle down my cheek.
"Memories, light the corner of my mind." I began to sing. I love Babs.
ISAAC....*ahem* BAMBI
"Memories. Light the corner of my mind." I heard an off pitch, crappy voice sing. I took off one of my spikes and threw it towards the voice. There was a crunch.
"OH ... LORDY!!! YOU BROKE MY CUP!"
"Um ... oops!"
"THAT WAS MY ONLY CUP, ONLY CUP ... FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK!!!! " Frank dropped his mutilated cup to floor. I knew I was in for it.
"DADDY ... SAVE ME!" I glanced around to see if my father was coming to help me when I noticed that Zac was still hitting Dave in the face with his penis ... those silly boys!
"IT'S TIME TO BRING OUT THE KUNG - FU ACTION. WHOOOOOAAAAAA" I turned around to see Frank flailing his arms and kicking his legs, making that kung-fu noise. What a tool. I sat there and watched him until he kicked me in the face. Ouch ... OUCH!!
As soon as he kicked me my Dad came from behind him and threw him to the floor. "Isaac, go get the yahtzee game and keep out of Franks face! And as for you Frank, you better thank your lucky stars I'm straight!!!"
FRANK
"YEAH!!! You go get that yahtzee furry mouth!" Isaac hung his head in shame at my comment directed at his pube-infested mouth. "Hey Clint, looks like you go some! Only your pubes are THAT white!" I said with a chuckle, damn I'm funny!!
BAMBI
Frank such an asshole. I'll learn him. I turned around spontaneously and wobbled (I only had one spike on ... made it difficult to run!) my way over to frank.
"BAMBI, NO!!!!" Clint and my father screamed in unison.
I jumped in mid air, kicking my leg out letting my wiener fly threw the breeze when the tip of my spike penetrated his crap hole. "I told you I'd learn him!" I sad proudly, walking away, leaving my spike in his poop shoot.
ZAC
"ISAAC!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!!? After all I've done for you, raising you after your parents didn't want you anym ..." Dad stopped in mid sentence. I don't think he meant to let that one out.
I stopped slapping Dave with my ding-dong and turned to Isaac. All the blood had drained from his face, and all the pubes had fallen from his mouth ... like there was nothing to hold them in there anymore, except for his braces of course!
"Dad ... wha ... Can I even call you dad anymore?" Isaac stated with a single tear trailing down his face.
"Isaac ... it's true, I'm sorry. But haven't you always wondered why you look the way you do and then your brothers are beautiful? I know it's harsh, but it's about time you found out the truth anyways."
I agree, it was about time they told him. I've known about it since I was five. One day I told him he was ugly and they told me not to give it away ... like it wasn't obvious enough! Even still, all I was in the mood to do was fool around with Dave. I know he felt the same way. I sat up and took his cock in my hand and began to stroke it.
"Zacky baby, I feel dirty" he pouted. "Let's go take a shower!" Me not being one to argue, obliged. We made our way to the bathroom, dick in hand!
PART THIRTEEN: CAMEL TOES
INTERLUDE
Meanwhile back in Tulsa there sat Diana, cross-legged on the floor like the hippie shit she is, cross-stitching a picture of a mushroom. The following thoughts ran through her head:
~*~ If Taylor weren’t my daughter I’d fuck her
~*~ I hope Walker is having fun, but not too much
~*~ Where did I put my drugs?
~*~ Where are my kids?
~*~ Do I have kids?
~*~ I want a cat
~*~ Whatever happened to my Lucy Blue CD?
~*~ I just farted
PART FOURTEEN: I’VE GOT BIG BALLS
FRANK
Confused as to what just went on I asked myself “Did I leave my butt plug in?”. One time I walked in on Bob with my butt plug in his mouth. The silly boy thought that it was a soother. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it had just been up my ass and that wasn’t chocolate fudge on it. Not that I thought he wasn’t familiar with the taste, I had seen him with his tongue up Clint’s ass a few times. Where is Sheila? I rolled over on my back and the object penetrated my ass further. I then saw Walker looking at me with his jaw hanging open. All thoughts of Sheila left my mind, all I want to do now is make out with Walker. Too bad I’m straight. Oh well, where’s my cup…OH NO!!! MY CUP!!! WHERE DID THAT BAMBI BITCH GO?!?!?! I stood up and tore the spike out of my ass. It felt a lot worse coming out than it did going in! I chucked the spike across the room hearing it shatter as it hit the wall, damn those cheap plastic shoes … my cup was plastic, and oh how I miss it. FUCK THE SHOE, FUCK BAMBI, FUCK MY CUP, and while I’m at it … FUCK WALKER!!!!
WALKER
Frank turned to me with a gleam in his eye and his thumb up his ass, god he’s beautiful. I wished it had of been my fist up his ass and not that damn shoe. Before I knew it we had made our way to each other. Frank threw his arms around my neck and began to run his hand through my dark locks. The moment was too perfect. He leaned up to my ear and nibbled on it for a moment. His hot breath sent shivers up my spine as he said “Walker, you have a booger in your nose.” I felt a warm tingling feeling inside that I identified as embarrassment until he moved his lips over to my nose and began sucking on it. The green mucus ejected my nostril and hit the back of his throat. When he didn’t choke and continued to suck on my nose I found myself hard, so hard that it popped open my zipper. But I was not embarrassed for when I gazed down at his member I saw that it too was popped out the bottom of the leg of his neon pink shorts. I LOVE THIS MAN. I moved his lips down from his nose and we kissed.
CHAPTER 15: YAY FOR DAVE
DAVE
We glided to the bathroom on our own sexual high. These past few hours have been the best of my life. All the sex, sex, and more sex, and finally figuring out what the mysterious odor of a penis reminds me of. Satisfaction…complete! I wonder if Zac feels the same way … ?
ZAC
I’M HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY …
SO HORNY HORNY HORNY HORNY
DAVE
Once safely inside the bathroom, we closed the door and began to remove … we were already naked … so we began to make out. I halted the kiss and turned my back to turn on the water.
ZAC
In the middle of our ‘moment” Dave turned to start the water. It was just too perfect! His white broken-in derrière stuck up in the air calling for my foot. It was far too good for me to ignore so I brought it back and planted my foot into his arse. His face cracked into the wall breaking the tiles. Spurting blood splashed against the tiles and he fell limp to the tub … in both manners.
OOPS!! How was I supposed to know that would happen. I was home schooled! I kicked him a few more times while he down, not to make sure he was alive, just to hurt him. Sometimes I just get the urge to damage people, ask my brother Mortimer … wait, he’s dead …
ANYWAYS, now my erection is gone, and Dave is looking rather dead. I did not feel like being held responsible, so I wrapped a towel around my waist and left. It’s not like even if he wakes up he’s gonna remember what happened, so I was in the clear again.
CHAPTER 16: TATER NUTTS
ZAC
I didn’t think it was a good idea to stay in the room, so I waltzed my way over to the bedroom to get me some clothes. If I’m not getting any from Dave I’m gonna find someone else, hmmm, where’s Bambi? OH GOD, there’s Dad … and FRANK?? TOGETHER!?!?! IN LOVE!?!?! OH NO, MY WEINER JUST RAN AWAY! That’s gross, even they should know that gay love is in no way acceptable, what were they thinking. O well, it’s okay, I know they’re straight, just like the rest of us … everybody does it, nobody talks about it, unless we’re at church of course.
Since I didn’t really want to look at my dad and his lover making out on the bed I decided the towel would do. WOW I liked Frank’s shorts, where did he get those??
Walking out in the hallway, I got a bunch of over-ecstatic looks from some raging lesbians screaming my name. I ignored them and headed to the elevator, although it was difficult to ignore the constant hair pulling, nail pocking, camera flashing that was now going crazy due to the fact that someone stole my towel. O well, it’s not the end of the world, just the end of my “mysterious” image. I didn’t miss Bambi that much, I’m just gonna go sit in the lobby instead.
CHAPTER 17: TRANSVESTITE … WHERE?!?!
BAMBI
I decided I wanted a root beer float, or a dick up the ass, whatever was cheapest. I managed to get my way through the lobby without getting too many whistles, thank god, how embarrassing that would be. As I exited the hotel I saw an ice cream parlor across the way. Its neon-coloured sign read “ice Cream Parlor”. What a clever name, they must have good ice cream and root beer floats, I thought to myself and I dreamed my way across the street, only getting hit by a car twice, not bad … if ya ask me.
Once I got inside I immediately noticed the clever pet names they’d given to the ice cream such as Crazy Chocolate, Wacky Vanilla, Silly Strawberry, but I myself decided to go for a Raunchy Root beer float.
As I approached the counter a gangly, ugly old man walked to the register to take my order.
“Whadda ya want” he said with a thick shmuck accent. What a pleasant old fart. I kind of want to kick him in the arse and tug his cack. (cack being the way us hick shit say cock, got it, cack sucker!)
“A dick up the ass!” I said honestly.
“What tha fuck’d you say?” he snorted in rather retarded manner. Who is this putz, can he not hear?
“I said a Raunchy Root beer Float you sexy bi” I tried to say being interrupted by own vomit. I thought it would be funny, but no, no it was not.
The old fart wiped my regurgitated semen and pubes off the counter and, without washing his hands, the bugger poured my Raunchy Root beer Float into a cup and handed it to me. I decided for his rudeness I was not going to pay, and oddly enough he didn’t stop me, I think he likes me!
I headed back to the hotel.
CHAPTER 18: FELATIO FEST
BOB
Oh Sponge-Bob, you make me wet. Maybe it’s the bath water…or both…I LOVE YOU!
SCOTT
“God Bob! Stop it with the squeeze toy!” I screeched.
TAYLOR
I wish Bob would break up with Sponge-Bob and use me as a squeeze toy. Even though it is quite hot watching him ride Sponge-Bob like that. On a moment of impulse I leapt into the tub, grabbed Bob by the hips and penetrated his anus. Bob didn’t seem to notice and continued to ride Sponge-Bob. Rage fills me. I ripped the squeeze toy out of his hands and bit its head off. Bob stared at his hands in disbelief; he didn’t understand where Sponge-Bob had gone. We never said he was a quick boy. His penis looked lonely, so I let my hand take the place of Sponge-Bob. Tugging rapidly on his wiener. Bob seemed to forget about Sponge-Bob. I looked over at Scott as his jaw hit the floor in disbelief.
“Hey Scott! If you’re gonna leave your mouth open like that come over here and use it!” He stuck out his tongue in reply. “You can use that too.” I cleverly spat back at him.
SCOTT
Taylor is a disgusting fuckface. That’s my brother. Hey! That’s my brother! The situation suddenly became very opportune. I’ve always been attracted to Bob but knew those feelings were wrong. Even still, I always wanted to share my love with him. NOW IS MY CHANCE!! I hopped in the bathtub with them, as I stepped in my ass swung in Taylor’s face. I felt a strong wet slimy object slip into my bum. The shock made me pull away. Then I realized that Bob could wait. I put my ass back into Taylor’s face but he pushed me away, that bastard was just teasing me. I then looked down and realized that Bob was sucking my dick. YAY!!!!! SCOTT’S GETTING SOME!!! I decided to return the favor, I swung my right leg behind his head and planted it on his other side. Leaving my dick in his mouth, but I now had my back to him. I bent down into the bath water searching for his doodle. Once I discovered it I put it in my mouth and began to suck him hard.
CHAPTER 19: MUFF DIVING
WALKER
I was getting tired of this whole “kissing” thing. I was ready for some hard core sex action!! I led Frank over to the bed and pushed him with all my might…he didn’t move. For an anorexic man he had a strong build. I continued to shove, he just looked at me like I was retarded. He finally gave in and sat on the bed. Thank God! My arms were getting sore. I straddled him and ripped his shirt off of his buff chest.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Frank wailed “THAT WAS MY GARTH BROOKS IN PIECES SHIRT!!! YOU CACK!!”
“And now it’s in pieces.” I cleverly chuckled. He slapped me and called me a bush pig; oddly enough that turned me on even more. I tugged his pink shorts down to his ankles and discovered that he wasn’t wearing any under garments. There stood his penis, beautiful and fully erect. Golly-lolly, this is the best day of my life. I stripped down to my birthday suit. This made me giggle. I began to sing.
“Happy birthday to me…” Frank kicked me in the balls that were hanging to my knees. Ouch.
“Standing outside the fire!” Frank retorted to my displeasure. I grabbed him by the hips and thrust myself inside of him. Then in the middle of our sex he leaned up and tried to kiss me…what a fag. I pulled my self out of him; there was a loud popping noise. Lord this man is tight! Does not Sheila pleasure him properly? This poor deprived man! Feeling sorry for him I could not stay mad at him but I was no longer in the mood to fuck around. I took his hand and led him to the bathroom where we found some towels. We looked over to the tub and saw Dave, face down, we figured that Zac must be underneath him. So we left them alone, by the look of all of the blood on the wall those boys must be having fun.
We walked out of the bathroom and grabbed the hotel key, I thought it would be nice to head up to the Moffatt suite to see what the other boys were up to. Once we entered the corridor were saw groups of girls crying, some smiling, bragging about a naked boy, THAT DAMN ISAAC, why can’t he just be normal … like me. Or Zac, thank god for Zac! The good son.
We made our way to the elevator, there was an awkward silence between us. I looked over at Frank, he was quivering and holding wiener, I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just wanted to love him. I looked out the glass in the elevator and saw a naked long haired blond boy sitting in the lobby, what a freak, thank god it’s not one of my boys … OH GOD NO!!!! I knelt down in prayer, praying to god that it wasn’t my boy, my good son. When I got back up and looked again, he was gone. Thank god, I must be losing it, but when I again, harder this time, hehe, he was just hidden behind a transvestite … OH DEAR LORD!!!! Hey wait, that can’t be Zac, he was in the tub with Dave … OH NO!!!! I decided to keep my mouth shut, Frank was shaken up enough already … and I was sad, my good son had gone bad. Must be those damn Moffatt boys, I knew they were trouble when I saw them. With their dyed hair, and shit on their face. How could someone as caring, loving, and affectionate as Frank produce such horrible spawn. I guess it was the mother, that why they’re no longer together I suppose.
We made our way to the seventh floor and the door opened. We walked to the Moffatt room. I slung my arm around Frank to comfort him, the anorexia and the sex has been too much for him. I slipped the key in the hole and opened the door. Strange moanings and groanings drowned out by constant splashing noises flooded from the bathroom. We decided to ignore the activity in the bathroom and took a seat on the couch. We needed to discuss what had just happened and try to make ends meet.
CHAPTER 20: THE TRUTH UNTOLD
ZAC
I sat alone in the lobby stark ass naked. I hate when people stare, it’s not like they don’t have it. Well, I’m sure there’s isn’t this nice, but still, mind your business. I wasn’t there for long when Bambi came strutting through the rotating doors sipping on a float.
“Hey Ike, over here.” I called to him noticing the immediate scowl on his face. ON NO, I’m giving him away. “That’s right Ikarina, over here” … there, no one will ever know the truth.
He danced over to me grabbing my dick and beginning to tug it.
“GET A ROOM!” A stupid bitchfaced retard screamed at us. I figured we might as well, we got two in fact.
Bambi stopped stroking my pud. “Last one to the elevator gets my dick up their ass!” he screamed gleefully and skipped to the elevator. I stood in my place and once he had made it there walked slowly to the elevator, I was in for some action tonight, or, if we couldn’t wait, in the elevator. Don’t get me wrong, I miss Dave, but Bambi will do for now. I wonder how he's making out.
****BACK AT THE HANSON SUITE****
DAVE
My eyes fluttered opened. “Zac?” I called to him but there was no answer. “Zac, what happened, where are you?” I tried to get myself up, but my hands slipped in the blood and I came crashing back down, my head meeting the bathtub again.
Fade to black
ZAC
I wasn’t ready to see Dave again, and this was my quality Bambi time, so we decided that we’d head up to the Moffatt’s room. Once we arrived the door was opened already, so we let ourselves in. There was my father and Walker again, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That damn Frank has made my father sin. He’ll have to spend the whole next week in confession if this continues … perverts.
We heard the erotic, HOT, noises seeping out from the bathroom. We decided to ignore my father and his boyfriend and check out the action in there. We opened the door to see three bodies mangled together in arousing positions, I immediately became hard. Taylor turned towards us and shrieked at the thought of being caught in the act.
FRANK
I heard a girls' shriek come from the bathroom. Walker and I jumped to our feet and hauled ass to the bathroom to investigate. To our surprise there was Taylor, Scott and Bob indulging into their own sexual fantasies as Zac and AHEM Bambi stood and watched with pleasure. But there was no girl … After putting the pieces together I realized it must have just been Taylor. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of my boys engaging in intercourse with someone other than me I quickly regained my composure and posed just one question …
“Where’s Dave?”
We all looked in Zac’s direction.
“Dave who?” He immediately retorted.
“David Michael William Moffatt, do not you know him?” Bob immediately chimed in.
“OH, that Dave … I thought he was with you ..” Zac said pointing in my direction. “He said he wanted to spend some time with Clint, so I left and went to the lobby…”
“CLINT WHO!?!?” Everyone said in unison.
“Zac, have you been doing drugs … again” Walker whispered loudly.
“Oops, yes, sorry dad.”
“I don’t like you bringing up the past, we tried to let that all go behind us, you know how much we miss him.” I said beginning to sob loudly. Just then we felt a presence behind us. I ran to the door and my heart sank when I saw who it was. I ran through the doorway and slammed the door.
SCOTT
“What’s up his ass?” I said allowed as everyone else in the room shrugged. Bob ran to the door and peeped through the keyhole (**** This was Eyleen’s idea. Gary does not want to take part in this because she believes that bathroom doors do not have keyholes … she’s a loser****)
“Oh no, it’s Sheila, crap guys it’s Sheila … what are we gonna do …??”
“We’re gonna get dressed and pretend we’re happy to see her.”
As we were getting our clothes back on the door burst open and there was Sheila with a scowl on her face.
“SHEILA” Bob screamed and jumped on her and she became disgusted with the thought of her step sons naked body pressing up against her.
“Where’s Dave?” She asked while Bob’s naked body still hung from hers.
“DAVE WHO?” We all chimed trying not to look suspicious.
‘DAVID MICHEAL WILLIAM MOFFATT” Bob yelled gleefully bouncing up and down, looking as though he was humping Sheila.
Sheila turned and ran towards Frank. “Where’s Dave” She screeched. Frank looked away. She slapped him. “Tell me where he is now.”
BOB
“DAVID MICHEAL WILLIAM MOFFATT” Still bouncing.
SHEILA
“Frank I can’t even leave you alone with your own kids for a week. One goes crazy, one goes gay, and the other goes missing.” I stopped my lecturing to count and make sure I’d remembered them all. 1...2...3, yup, got them all. For some reason I’d thought there was more, hmmmmm.
Frank turned to me with a tear in his eye. “He’s on the third floor, in the Hanson’s suite.”
“IN WHO’S SUITE?!?!?”
“The Hanson’s suite.” He replied.
“HANSON … WHERE!?!?!” I turned looking around as Taylor, Zac and Isaac all stood waving at me. “God, you’re far better looking on TV. Well, that’s enough chitchat, let’s go find Dave.
And with that was all went stampeding out of the room leaving Zac alone, naked, and crying in the bathroom.
CHAPTER 21: THE LAST CHAPTER
BAMBI
I ran down the hallway, not quite sure why I was running, but still running. We’d made it to the elevator but it was occupied, so we were waiting impatiently for it to arrive to the floor. The door dinged and slid open. There stood a bloody, mangled Dave. We all gasped at his hideousness.
“DAVE, WHAT HAPPENED!?!?!” Sheila gasped.
“What are you talking about?” He answered. His speech was slurred. I think it must have been because he had no lips. Sheila pulled a mirror out of her purse and handed it to Dave. He looked in it and what was left of his face fell.
“NOOOOOOO!!!!! MY FACE!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS … HIDIOUS FACE!!!!!”
THE END … OR IS IT!?!?!
EPILOGUE: CLINT… CLINT WHO?
At the end of the week, the week in paradise, both families went home to continue their regular lives. But I’m sure many of you all ask the same question, “Whatever happened to Clint”, Frank Moffatt has the story …
FRANK (holding a picture of Clint, using it as a guide line)
“Many moons ago, in the land of our four fathers, Canada, I lost my son, my one and only son. I loved him very deeply. We lost him to the plague. It was terrible losing him at the age of four, that’s right the age of four, for all you people who can’t count there’s only ever been three Moffatts!”
THE END … OR IS IT!?!?!
PS. I’m sure you all must wonder how this week has impacted their lives. And for all you dumbasses who think you’re ahem “true fans” but don’t really know shit about them, you should know that they wrote/covered these songs based on their experiences …
“Waving My Dick in the Wind” This was the one song that filled that hole in Bambi’s heart, made him/her feel whole again
“Big Balls” Which Zac then took on as his theme song and name of his personal website where naked picture of him were posted
“Everybody Hates Me Cuz I’m a Stupid Fag” Which Clint wrote about himself, of course, a few days ago, and has not been recorded
“Unbrake My Face” That Dave wrote to pull himself through his mild depression after his dashing good looks were mutilated by the bathroom tiles in that room of sin.
“He’s a Dream” Which was Frank’s dedication to his one true love, balogna! … I mean Walker
“Get Away From Me you Pink Short Wearing Giner” Which was Walker’s reply to Frank’s (s)hit song.
“My Brother Humped My Leg” This haunting heart wrenching ballad was both written and performed by Scott Moffatt after his mind altering run-in with Bob. And if you’ve read the story, you understand.
“I’m Not A Fucking Drag Queen” - Taylor Hanson
“Rubber Ducky” Which Bob sang for anyone and everyone at a Zellers store in London Ontario, after he broke out of the asylum … he was never seen again
THE END…FOR REAL THIS TIME … OR IS IT!?!?!
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